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The harness, the accessory that dresses your fetish outfits

The bondage harness for men is a BDSM accessory used to arouse one's partner and practice bondage.

What is a bondage harness for men?

This practice directly linked to the world of BDSM consists in immobilizing his partner, often to establish a climate of domination. The dominant person then establishes a pattern of rules to be followed under penalty of being punished.

What is bondage?

The origin of the word "bondage" goes back to the Latin bondagium, which translates a state of slavery and more precisely the fact of being a serf, that is to say a person dependent on a lord. Bondage, to which the acronym BDSM owes its first letter, thus consists in tying up one's partner for erotic purposes.

There is a wide range of accessories to tie up your partner:

  • Ropes are used to tie up one's lover, often in the tradition of Japanese shibari,
  • The tape is very easy to handle and presents no danger as it only wraps around itself. It is therefore the perfect candidate to seduce beginners,
  • BDSM handcuffs are sometimes made of leather and nails, sometimes of feathers and fur,
  • chains and straps are particularly popular with hardcore roleplayers, but can easily intimidate beginners,
  • Submission necklaces are perfect for establishing a climate of domination. Very often equipped with buckles, they are used to tie up your partner with chains or ropes,
  • The SM leashes follow the same pattern as the collars and add a humiliating dimension very appreciated by some submissives,
  • The suspension kits or the spreader bar are aimed at a more experienced and trained clientele, even professionals.

According to your advancement in the fetish and BDSM universe, you can therefore consider with your partner a discovery session of SM by immobilizing the other before inflicting him various delicious torments. Kisses, caresses... will be all the more exciting as he or she will not be able to respond.

What is a bondage harness?

The submission harness is a BDSM equipment worn during bondage sessions. It is most often composed of several leather straps of 1 or 2 cm wide, passing over the torso of its owner. A beautiful harness evokes strength, virility and domination, while recalling the elegant leather armor worn by people like the Spartans.

Inherent in S&M play, wearing a harness can refer to fetish culture, or attract attention while fanning the flames of desire...
The comic book series Sin City features several people wearing S&M harnesses.

Some male harness models include a central strap that goes through the front and back, and extends between the legs to cover the sex. On a woman, the straps can go above and/or below the breasts to create a form of breast bondage.
These accessories allow you to play with contrasts and bring out the skin and curves, both female and male.

The male bondage harness is worn as a real fashion accessory, imposing respect and fear of the submissive partner. There are even models intended for restraint: the arms are then immobilized in the back and plated against the body.
The submission harness can also be used as an anchor point to which other restraint accessories can be attached.

How to choose a male harness?

Men's harnesses are not just for homosexuals, contrary to popular belief. These BDSM accessories are indeed for everyone: heterosexual couples can, for example, engage in pegging, a practice that consists of a woman penetrating her partner with a submission harness.

The SM harness can be attached to the body of its user with or without straps, while accommodating different types of dildos... or even several at once!
A male harness offers several advantages:

  • The wearer's hands are free to caress his lover or stimulate other parts of his body within reach,
  • The possibility of placing two dildos on the accessory makes double penetration possible, i.e. simultaneous penetration of the anus and vagina,
  • The male harness can help with erectile dysfunction,
  • The sight of a partner wearing a male harness can be very exciting..

The different types of male harnesses

Men's harness with straps

Men's harnesses with straps are often more comfortable, thanks to their straps placed at the waist or at the level of the hips.

  • Dildo harnesses have a built-in dildo,
  • Universal harnesses have one or more rings to attach the dildo of your choice,
  • Hollow harnesses are recommended to increase the size of the penis, or to discover new sensations.

Male harness without straps

Strapless harnesses are attached to the user's body with an appendage that is inserted into the vagina.
These models can be more unstable and sometimes more complicated to use than a model with straps.


First of all, choose a sling that is aesthetically pleasing to your taste, both in terms of materials and colors as well as the layout of the straps. A good harness will enhance the wearer's torso and arouse his partner's libido, provided that you like it enough to be tempted to put it on!

The different materials

The quality of the materials used will define the resistance, the longevity but also the safety of your BDSM accessory. Most commercially available pieces are made of nylon or synthetic leather, although there are fabric and other alternatives.
Make sure that the inside of your submission harness is soft enough not to rub during use and thus ensure comfort while wearing, but also afterwards.

The majority of dildos are made of silicone, so this will be the easiest material to find. Check that your intimate accessory is non-porous, especially if you intend to use it for anal purposes.
Porous materials are indeed difficult to clean, and therefore much more likely to let bacteria grow. Some of the most common non-porous sex toy materials are silicone, glass, ABS plastic and stainless steel.


Comfort is paramount when choosing your male harness. The presence of straps is recommended for beginners.

Some models of men's harnesses simulate underwear and do not have buckles or straps. There are also versions that are attached to the chest, legs, feet, or even the forehead or hands.

These models are clearly not the most common, but they can make you happy! It is essential to take the time to compare the different possibilities in order to find the SM harness perfectly adapted to your body, your fantasies and desires, the one that will hold a dildo in place, in a vertical position.

The size and shape of the dildo

The many variations of dildos available on the market obviously have a big influence on the experience of wearing a male harness.
If you're just starting out, you'll want to choose a small toy that's easier to handle but also easier to get used to. You'll have the opportunity to try out larger intimate toys soon enough, so take the time to familiarize yourself with your first models.

In the case of anal penetration, it is also recommended that you start with smaller sizes. Indeed, the anal cavity is fragile and can easily risk tearing in case of too brutal penetration or lack of lubrication.
You will also need to prepare the recipient by relaxing it as much as possible. The use of anal plugs can help the anus to dilate gently.

Many sex toys are available on the market, but those with abstract shapes are generally softer, more flexible, and easier to handle than realistic models.
Some enthusiasts of realistic sex toys, however, argue that they are more exciting to watch.

How to use a male harness?

First, you can take a few moments to get used to seeing and wearing your new accessory.
Then, why not try masturbating, to gently associate it with sexual practices.

The lubricant will then be essential, especially if you plan to use your male bondage harness with a large dildo or for anal sex.
In this last case, prefer an anal lubricant. Otherwise, a silicone-based lubricant will be just as suitable.

It is possible to combine your SM harness with various sex toys:

  • A clitoral or vaginal stimulator to enjoy both penetration and stimulation on the clitoris,
  • A vibrating egg, which can be used both by the person penetrating or the one penetrated, and this in several body cavities,
  • Geisha balls to be inserted in the vagina while wearing an SM harness: you will feel like tapping from inside,
  • Erotic cosmetics such as a hot-cold lubricant, with aroma, or a liquid vibrator.